CopShock: Second Edition
Surviving Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
by Allen R. Kates, MFAW, BCECR
Marriage, Mediation and Divorce
Family problems are stressful for everyone.
When coping with traumatic stress, officers may finally face marriage troubles
or exaggerate the extent of their conflicts. Often marriages can be worked out,
but sometimes divorce is inevitable.
Many studies say police officers divorce at a higher rate than most other people, in some cities as high as 75 percent. Other studies report rates at slightly above or even below the national average. As with many issues about police life, statistics vary from city to city, and from precinct to precinct.
What is not under dispute is that unlike many other high-pressure jobs, policing puts additional stress on marriages. The threat of being injured or killed, witnessing human suffering, long and unpredictable hours, shift work, conflicts with bosses, excessive paperwork, an ineffective criminal justice system, attacks by the media, days off spent in court, moonlighting to make ends meet, missed birthdays and anniversaries—all can cause anxiety and friction at home.
Like everybody else, police officers must work at marriages. The Internet has a flood of resources embracing every aspect of marriage, mediation and divorce.
Mediate.com
The Mediate.com website offers
publications and referrals to trained mediators throughout the U.S., Canada, UK,
Australia and New Zealand. Its services cover every aspect of mediation and
divorce including separation, child custody, prenuptial agree-ments, disputes,
conflicts and family issues.
Go to: http://www.mediate.com. Write:
Mediate.com, PO Box 51090, Eugene, Oregon 97405. Phone: 541-345-1629.
Divorcenet.com
This popular website provides
divorce information, and seeks to empower women and men undergoing divorce. You
can access objective divorce-related articles, support communities, interactive
tools for managing divorce, and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers,
mediators and financial professionals. It addresses all aspects pertaining to
divorce such as alimony and child support. With over 40,000 members, its online
communities and special events allow you to participate in real-time discussions
with experts and with other people who share similar divorce issues.
Go
to: http://www.divorcenet.com. Write:
LawTek Media Group, LLC, 321 Walnut Street, Suite 440, Newton, MA 02460. Phone:
800-696-2026.
DivorceSource.com
This comprehensive site
provides information on the financial, legal, psychological, real estate and
other aspects of divorce. It offers, among many other things, live chat rooms,
downloads, articles, books, cases, tutorials, divorce kits, agreements, family
law links and a directory to help locate professionals throughout the U.S. and
Canada. Many of the offerings are free, and others you pay for.
Go to:
http://www.divorcesource.com. Write:
Divorce Source, P.O. Box 1580, Allentown, PA 18103. Phone:
610-820-8120.
MarriageBuilders.com
MarriageBuilders presents
ways to overcome marital conflicts and restore love and caring. As well as many
articles, the site offers an online radio show, questionnaires, a discussion
forum, books, counseling, and referral to local counselors.
Go to:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com.
Marriage
Toolbox
An online marriage magazine, this website focuses on
many aspects of marriage including how to maintain a healthy one. As well as
covering the basics in over 80 pages, the magazine is inspiring and uplifting.
It also offers practical suggestions and exercises for maintaining or improving
communication and loving in a relationship.
Go to: http://www.marriagetools.com. Call
toll-free: 800-691-9477.
Online Guide for Effective
Living
Bill Ferguson offers this site for loving, learning
and healing. He provides articles and access to workshops, books, tapes and
telephone consulting. The articles include divorcing as friends, resolving
disputes without conflict and the steps needed to end conflict and restore love
in difficult relationships.
Go to: http://www.billferguson.com. Phone:
713-520-5370.